"why so sian?"

that's what everyone has been asking me today. it seems like I looked really tired or depressed today. ever so often, I would be talking to my friend when suddenly he would say "why so sian? everything ok?" and i have to agree. i really do look sian today. i even feel a little sian. but the funny thing is i can't really explain why.

i figured it's because i woke up real early today. Although my handphone alarm went off at 8am, i normally actually begin to wake up at only 9 or even 10am. however, i was shocked out of my bed when i noticed my handphone's screen was just white all over. i couldn't see a thing on my screen! i spent the next hour trying to fix it on my own, giving up and then finding out where i should go to get it repaired. waking up much earlier than expected only to have waste time going to a repair shop was certainly not the best way to start a day. but normally that doesn't make me sian. i don't even remember being irritated by this inconvenience. i guess it was because i was already mentally prepared to send it to the repair shop. for some time now, my handphone has been giving me a bit of trouble now and then. sometimes i find it impossible to charge it, other times one of my features does not seem to work. so perhaps at the back of my mind, i was actually happy i finally had to force myself to go to the repair shop. further back in my mind, i am of course upset that i spent so much money for a lousy phone but that has been covered up by the many happy memories of me taking nice photos with it. so oh well...

back to the original question. why am i sian? perhaps it's because i was a little let down by today's outing. the previous outings were so perfect and so fun that i had high expectations for this outing too. while there was fun and laughter, i just felt that something was missing. but that isn't right either. from what i could remember, today's outing really should be graded on the same level as the others. if you just think about the content and what happened, it really should be the same. ok granted, now that school has started, people are starting to have other worries on their minds which may effect the fun a little. but i do recall that for the better part of the outing, we were able to just crap as always. and of course i'm happy my present was well appreciated. guess the end was the only slighlty sad point because at the end, i suggested meeting up every monday. unfortunately that suggestion was greeted with " we'll see how.." hmm...a rather neutral statement.. guess i should just look on the bright side as i always do: at least it's not negative right? =)

i guess the real difference is just me. maybe there's some happy part of my brain that decided to switch off today.

or maybe, as i said all along, i just woke up too early.. haha..