the bald and the beautiful

In my office, there sits a man who has an awfully peculiar head of hair. For convenience, let us call him Mr. Helmet because his hair looks more like a helmet or a very furry cap. It seems to rest high above his forehead with the hair in this arced shape.

Thanks to him, I now find myself obsessed with finding out whether he is wearing a wig. It certainly looks that way but it could also be a “comb-over”. For those who do not know what a “comb-over” is, it is basically a method of covering one’s bald patch by letting the back hair grow really, really long and simply combing it over to the front. You could also leave the side hair really long and comb it over to the centre. Unfortunately, whichever way you comb, it’s still pretty obvious you were not born with such weird hair so in the end you end up revealing what you tried to hide. This reminds me of a Chinese saying that goes something like “chi di wu wing san bai liang”… I may have got the han yu pin yin wrong but I know it’s supposed to describe a case where the act of trying to hide it only makes it more obvious. And that is precisely what a comb-over does.

Based on my initial observation, if Mr. Helmet did do a comb-over, it must have been combed over from the back than the sides. However, the hair at the back also appears to be flowing downward, which is impossible if it was really a comb-over.

So in all honesty, it should be a wig. I suspect that he does have real hair at the back and at the sides, like most men. However, he wears a wig just to cover the bald patch at the centre. Sometimes, I can even see 2 different layers of hair at the back. It’s like there’s this layer of hair on top of another. That must be where the wig ends I guess.

It makes me wonder what I would do if I suffered male-pattern baldness one day. Maybe I’ll start making trips to yunnan jian fa zong xin or some weird male spa. Maybe ten years from now, you’ll see me with some gingko nut paste smeared all over my scalp and 2 cucumber slices on my eyes (just as a garnish). While I have no intention of looking like a xioa long bao, I know that I could be quite tempted to sacrifice my dignity if it means saving my hair. After all, walking around as a permanent sunlight reflector is rather embarrassing. People will look at my shiny head and try to catch their own reflection.

But if you think about it, it is better to be completely bald than have like 4 or 5 strand of hair left behind. It’s not like those few strands can cover the whole patch and they only make the whole bald patch look ugly. If that happened to me, I know I’ll shave my head totally. At least people may think I shaved my head on purpose. Besides, it’s not like I’ll be completely bald after I shave. It’ll just be so short people can’t tell if I have hair or it’s just too short to be seen.

I would like to believe that everyone can age gracefully. I think if one is happy and easily contented, it tends to show on one’s face. I find that grouchy people always look 10 years younger. After all, they frown so much that the frowns become permanent and turn into huge wrinkles. And they usually have this super tired look, like as if they’ve had enough of this world and feel over-burdened by it. Everything seems to sag under the weight of their troubles, from their cheeks to their tummies and especially their buttocks.

Well I intend to age gracefully, full set of hair or otherwise. If I do begin to bald one day, I intend to cut my hair short and not attempt to wear a wig or do some comb-over. I might even polish the bald patch it a little just to be funny…
Leaving my hair alone is a sign that I can accept changes in my life even if they are for the worse. And that can’t be a bad thing can it?