v day

V day is coming!!

I’m looking forward to it actually. I think it’s always nice to see people being all romantic and lovey-dovey with each other. It’s almost like watching a free romantic movie except that the cast is not as pretty / handsome (although there is the occasional “jun nan mei nu” couple every now and then)

I’ve noticed that some of my friends seem so saddened by the fact that they are still single. “my 24th v day alone” as they would put it. But if you think about it, most people only get into a REAL relationship after say 21? (Not just because of the age but because it’s only then that we have some income to spend on dates etc) so really it’s more like their 3rd v day alone.

But hang on a sec… who said you’re alone? There are dozens of people out there who care about you and love you so you should be happy.

Unless, of course, you just happened to like someone at that time.

It’s one of the most agonising things to like someone and still not be able to ask her the cliché but romantic question “Will you be my valentine?”

Maybe you know it’s not going to work or maybe you just feel you haven’t reached that stage where you can pop the question. Or worse, maybe somehow you know what her answer would be…”NO”…

Only then would v day seem like the worst day in the calendar.

So I’m happy to say I won’t be having that problem. Ever since 2 years ago, I’ve been a lot fussier about the kind of girl I am willing to pursue so nobody has yet really made me want to go all out this year. And, after all, I’m a guy so the chances of someone asking me “will you be my valentine?” are rather slim.

But what if a girl actually asked me that question? What would I say?

Well I would think I have to say “yes” unless she’s some hideous monster / just pure evil. After all, being someone’s valentine just means that you think she COULD be the one, not that she IS. And why ruin a chance before it even begins?

Yet there are times when you look at a person and you just know somehow it could never happen. She’s not hideous or evil but somehow it’s just not possible. If that happens, I would still take her out but I would explain to her the situation cos just saying no and leaving her all alone and broken hearted is a tad too mean. If she isn’t that bad, I at least owe it to her to (sort of) explain why it couldn’t work right?

But then again, it’s not as if I’m some big Hollywood hunk so I doubt I would ever have to face that rather awkward situation.

I just realized recently that my dad got married at 29. Yet, despite marrying at a reasonably early age, his son is still depending on him for pretty much everything and he has to continue slogging it out at the not so young age of 60.

So the way I see it, 30 is really the limit to finding a “significant other”. After all, by the time I dated her long enough, got married, settled down and am ready to have kids (if my wife wants them) I would probably be about 40 at least!

Yikes….

So, fine. It’s agreed that there’s only 6 more years for me to find somebody. That’s probably what everyone else is thinking and why everyone else seems so sad that until now they still do not have anyone to celebrate v day with. After all, there really does not seem to be much time left.

But I really don’t see what is wrong with being a swinging bachelor. It’s just a matter of getting used to. Besides, it’s not as if marriage is that blissful a thing. It can get pretty ugly too.

But there’s always the same old argument endorsing marriage: what happens when you get old and your parents are dead and your friends are all busy with their own families? wouldn't u sometimes feel alone n wish you were married?

Well how about this argument instead: what happens when you get old and your children have sucked your savings dry, you still owe the bank money for the flat you paid for and your children are too busy going out with their own wives /husbands to really spend time with you? wouldn't u sometimes wish you were single without a care in the world and have no burdens to bear?

The bottom line is that either lifestyle can suck unless you were mentally prepared for the risks that come with it. With marriage, you tell yourself that you love this girl so much you don’t care if she’s wrinkled up and if you don’t have the income to go on all those "golden year" holidays you were supposed to go with her. You just want her forever so you take on all the risks.

And that goes the same for bachelorhood. I would tell myself it’s better to spend my old age alone and (logically) richer and stress-free than spend it worrying how to support my family with a wife I didn’t really want.

So yup it’s all about fate I guess. There’s a Chinese word called “sui yuan”. It means just seeing where the tide takes you and leaving things like love to fate. Well, being a Christian, I would be more accurate if I said I leave it to God. However, I know I won’t be the kind of person that would CONTINUE to leave it to God even after He has given me a girl I really want. Of course I would go after her. Which human being wouldn’t?

But till then, all I want to do is treasure each day and just do my best to bring glory to God.

6 more years till the comforts of bachelorhood!

On the other hand, 6 more years till the joy of finding a real love.

Either way I thank God for everything and because of HIM, I know I will be content =)