a sample of bachelor life

Today my parents went out for a long dinner so I came home at around 8pm to find the house dark, deserted and devoid of life.

And I didn’t mind it a bit.

I went on to send my clothes to the laundry, cook myself a nice 3 course dinner (that’s right, it had an appetizer and dessert), and do my usual post school relaxation (a.k.a. watching television)

All in all I kind of like the independence, that feeling that you can depend on yourself and that you are answerable to your self. For instance, if your house is a pig sty you can’t put the blame on anyone but yourself. On the other hand, if your house looked great you could claim almost all the credit for your self (although everything still comes from God =))

I could almost picture myself 20 years from now doing roughly the same things. ok so maybe my tummy would be a bit bigger and I won’t have as much energy to cook a meal for myself but I really don’t think I’ll feel lonely.

This may sound a little psychotic but I really do believe I know how to entertain myself.

What I can also guarantee is that I will NEVER resort to pornography like those 40 year old “ah bei”s I see at Chinatown. You can almost see the words “sex” written across their faces.

*insert puke expression here*

Well at least they just watch porn… it’s not as bad as going to prostitutes I guess. (Yes I know…I’m assuming they restrict themselves to porn but let’s give those uncles a chance ok?)

Anyway enough about them… today I met up with a secondary school friend after an absence of about 5 years and he seems to be living proof that people can change a lot.

Actually, come to think of it, I’m also living proof that people can change a lot. I wasn’t exactly Mr. Popular in secondary school and I couldn’t care less about my life. Now thanks to God I’m a lot more motivated and seemingly a lot more likeable. We don’t live our lives in the hope that people like us but I think being likeable is usually a good sign that you are not a bad person. Haha…

Anyway I digress. To cut a long story short I always feared for my friend’s social life. Back in secondary school, he was not the easiest person to get along with despite him being a nice person. I guess back them we all were a little confused.

Now, his social life is not just healthy it’s almost outrageously fantastic! Trust me. He is not one to make up stories just to make himself look good and he doesn’t boast. He couldn’t care less about what others think of him after all. But after a good 2 hour chat, I found out from him that 3 girls have already asked to be his girl friend! I mean think about it. GIRLS are TAKING THE INITIATIVE to DIRECTLY ASK HIM to be their boyfriend. Now the last I checked, girls were still rather conservative in this aspect. No matter how much they liked a guy, the most they would go is hint obviously (an oxymoron but you get the idea…)

Yet here are 3 girls who approached him! Amazing!

And I can understand why. This friend of mine will NEVER lie to you and if he likes your company he really knows how to show you a good time. All in all, he genuinely cares for people. So when he says things like “you have a great smile” you somehow know he really means it and isn’t just flirting or being polite. And what really impressed me is the way he told this girl what he really thought of her. This girl liked him so much she was almost willing to do anything for him. So he told her that while he did like her, he thinks things are going too fast and he wants to treat her as a human being not “a piece of flesh”(his own words). He liked her too much to exploit her. How many guys could really resist a girl who was willing to throw herself at you?

All in all, this friend of mine seems really well grounded. And he said he’s a much better person because of God. So there’s a nice encouragement for me too.

I used to think that girls didn’t like me because they thought I was flirtatious or insincere. But after listening to how these girls came to like him, I found our approach to interacting with girls isn’t that different. We both go out 1 on 1 with girls even if we do not have feelings for them. We go out because we enjoy their company and if one day a feeling comes then all the better.

So there must be some other reason. Of course I could take the easy way out and say it’s my height or rather the lack of it. And I know most girls would agree with me that height does matter to them. Yet I feel that there is something more crucial than that.

I am starting to realize that somewhere between last February and now, something happened to me.

I’ve lost interest in marriage.

It’s a scary prospect but it really is getting more and more evident. This secondary school friend of mine and another friend both expressed a desire to settle down. Both seem determined to give their future wives a good life. (They are still single but they are assuming they will find a wife.) Yet for me, I didn’t want to think so far. I just wanted to support my parents and give back to God and charity. Marriage seems more like an accident (like striking the lottery) than a phase in life.

Maybe it’s all the rejections I’ve faced along the way or that no girl has ever expressed any interest in me or maybe that for now I’ve got a lot of other things to do and I am a bit too young to be distracted by marriage. Besides, my parents always tell me it’s worse to marry a girl you don’t really want than to be single. It is certainly true but I guess I am starting to feel that I will never find that girl I could want THAT badly.

There are a lot of nice girls out there but for one reason or another I just don’t feel that I want them.

Guess marriage has become so meaningless to me that I no longer have that much of a desire to find a girl.

I mean let’s face it, most guys find a girl because they want to get married and start a family. And it’s now common to find guys with this “paternal instinct” in them. You certainly can’t get married without finding a girl!

So once I lose that desire to get married, I guess I also lose some desire to have a girl. But I like to see it in a more positive light. I like to think that if I get together with a girl one day, she will know that I didn’t get together with her because I was hoping to get a wife or because I want kids.

I wanted her just because I wanted her. Because I really liked her and now that I know her, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

With that feeling, marriage would naturally follow and so too would kids. Well assuming she likes kids too…

So maybe I’m not that disheartened about marriage after all. I’m just a little less pro active about it I guess… haha….