too full to study so here i am...

it's very hard for me to do anything on a full stomach except watching tv and using the computer. just don't like to study when i can still feel the tightness in my stomach. haha.. so i decieded to blog for a while. will study a bit soon especially since i have to wake up early tmrw. have early lessons and stuff.

finally played DOTA at home yesterday. it was a nice feeling to play it for FREE. well ok not actually free. i did pay some money to get the CDs in the first place. but at least yesterday's session chalked off about $2.50 from my fixed costs because in those computer cafes, it costs $2.50 an hour to play on the internet. hope to make a profit.. but it need not be soon haha..i better not be making a profit before the exams cos that would have meant i played for quite a number of hours!!

but during the hols i'll be sure to make a profit REAL quickly.. i can already picture it in my head.. rushing home everyday after, perhaps, working at my hol job to start the next game of DOTA. probably would have been map 9.99 by then haha.. (sorry to non DOTA people who didn't understand that joke)

well i am not too worried about getting addicted. as long as i realise that losing a computer game is a million times better than failing a subject, I am sure i will set my priorities right. besides i really dun mind losing. i hardly play anyway so what do i expect? haha

guess playing games is like a vicious cycle... the more you play the better you expect to be which means you cannot accept defeat as graciously as before. and that compels you to "train" even harder so that you won't lose as much which means playing even more frequetly than before.. and so the cycle continues. because there is always going to be one guy better than you.

the only way to break out of that cycle is to get some rude awakening of how badly the rest of your life has detoriated thanks to computer games. all the time you were addicted to games, your parents were just people who gave you money, school was a place you had to show your face in and friends were just stealing time away from your next battle. it can be very de-humanising or de-socialising.

so maybe i should re-think my holiday gaming plans. i better stick to 3 times a week during hols then... or else i fear by the time the hols end, i would be more eager to learn some new hero than to keep my degree...