My enforced absence

I feel like those mothers who are forced to be confined at home after they come back from the hospital. The difference is that the mothers went to the hospital to give birth. I went to the hospital to have my arse cut up.


Well... not really my arse. To be more accurate, it's my "inner thigh"... but you get the drift. And what's more, it's not just 1 slice and dice but 2. If a surgeon ever offers you a "buy 1 get 1 free" promotional package, please kindly refuse it. The monet saved is not worth the double portions of pain 2 wounds would inflict on you.

For those not in the loop, allow me to give a short summary of what's been going on. I had a surgery to remove this bump on my right thigh. However, the amount of flesh they had to remove was so big that they needed to graft skin from another part of my thigh to cover up the original wound. In short, I now have 2 wounds. The original wound prevents me from bending my body sideways. And the 2nd wound prevents my leg from bending too much. So I have had to invent a couple of interesting walking styles depending on how fresh the wounds are.

I have invented 3 styles so far. In order of increasing awkwardness ( so as to accomodate to the increasing pain ) they are: one, limping forward like a pregnant lady, with right hand on hip .. very auntie; two, moving like a panda: rotating body right and left while keeping leg perfectly still. three, sideways moonwalking: shifting feet right and left while keeping legs and body perfectly still thereby taking 5 minutes just to walk from my bedroom to my toilet.

Good news though: I feel much better now. Can now use style 1. In fact, I don't even need to put my right hand on my hip anymore thus avoiding the emberrassment of looking like an auntie.

Cheers