Freedom to choose or freedom from not knowing what to choose?
Recently, I was able to finally draw the line on an issue that was seriously bugging me. I'm really glad I did because without drawing a clear line and deciding what I want, I was stressed by not knowing what to do.
For almost 6 months, this issue had been dragging on and on. With little clarity and no clear stand made, it was hard to decide how to approach the issue. Worse, it was made more complicated by people (myself included) who couldn't decide what stand should they take.
There were just too many options available. And for a while, the issue would swing from one status to another and then back again. Sometimes I got the feeling that we even swapped stands. What I originally refused, I relented and even ended up wanting only to find that the person who had asked for it no longer wanted it anymore? Clarifications were constantly needed. Temporary resolutions had to be sought and resought. It was utterly confusing and stressful.
People talk about having the freedom to choose and having as many options available as possible. They desire to increase their range of options because it shows the lack of control others have on their lives and their right to freedom of choice. I agree to a certain extent but I cannot imagine how one can feel free when one is overwhelmed by all the different choices he could make. It's often difficult enough to decide between "yes" or "no". How much more difficult is it to choose between the millions of "yes-no" compromises! Yet we humans have a tendency to try and find some middle ground and so come up with a multitude of compromises. The problem with compromises is that it rarely truly satisifies both parties. Someone always has to take the shorter end of the stick. Worse still, both people could feel that they are the ones being short-changed! How ironic would that be?
I believe that it is only by choosing that we are truly free. By deciding what we want to do, we are liberated from the stress and turmoil that comes with ambiguity. By drawing a clear line, we brush away the "gray area" and know what we have to do.
Now of course you can argue that there is no issue without a gray area. I agree. And that is precisely why we need to make a stand. By making a stand, we draw a line on the issue and the gray area would presumably "change colur".
Even if the issue cannot be without a gray area, I think one thing that can be resolved into "black or white" are our principles and values. I knew what I had to do with that 6 month old issue because I knew that with God by my side, all that matters is growing my relationship with God. And that means trying my best to maintain good relationships with others. How can I love God and yet not at least do my best to treat others right?
I decided to let go of both disappointments and expectations, to accept that while we cannot bring the past back, we should at least ensure the future is without grudges or misunderstandings. And now I feel relieved, like this burden on my shoulder is finally lifted.
So I encourage one and all to make the choice. Take a stand. Decide what you want out of a situation and, eventually, your life. You'll be amazed at how free you will feel.
posted by me @ 11:15 PM
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