hmm

Yesterday I started to miss being in a relationship. It was nice to have someone in your life who cares as much about you as you do about her. And I was thinking how nice it would be to experience that again. Ultimately, I guess I felt kinda alone....

So I started praying that God would bless me with a girlfriend. But a thought suddenly struck me. "Wait a minute. To pray to God for a girlfriend is to say that I don't realize that with God I'm never alone. It means that I find God's presence insufficient and that some Earthly love would make up for it."

There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship. But I realized how silly I was. I should be in a relationship because I found someone I want to be with. It should not be to fill up some imagined void in my heart. I feel lonely because I forgot how easy and wonderful it is to draw closer to God.

With that, I changed my prayer to tell God I am sorry for neglecting Him for that short period and to thank Him for always being there for me and to never leave me alone. And after that I felt quite happy. I guess that is what they mean by "seeking God's kingdom first". It makes alot of sense. If we know that with God we are never alone, we will like a girl for the right reasons. Not to prevent fear of loneliness but because we just can't imagine life without her in it. And that would allow us to really treasure the relationship and make it last. In short, don't try to find someone. Just be open to meeting people and if you end up liking one of them, go for it.

People who get together just to prevent each other from loneliness will only break up in the end. In that case, it would have been better if they just made it clear from the start it was only meant to be a fling.

update

i just realized there's no need for a blog if the people I want to share the updates with are the people I meet often.

but guess it's also fun to write such things.

anyway, I went driving! finally.. after 5 years, I felt the thrill of driving again. I always enjoyed it but the last time I learnt how to drive was simply demoralizing. Call it bad timing, fear of failure or poor training. Whatever the reason, what was clear that I wasn't able to learn how to drive for some time. When I finallly recovered I was going to enter university. So I took my dad's advice and postponed the driving lessons.

bad idea! now I have to go for driving lessons on weekends or after work. This means I have even less time to myself. There are quite a number of things I'd like to do. And going to and fro the driving center can be rather taxing.

but at least the 1st lesson went well. tried s-course and crank course. aced it which isn't too bad considering it's my 1st time in 5 years. but whether i can repeat it is another story.

although I had to remember how to judge braking distance and my positioning, overall I would say that my past driving experience definitely helped alot. So at least the army driving lessons weren't a complete waste. besides they were free so what more could I have asked for.

cya